I was browsing my blogroll this morning when I came across Paolo Punzalan’s post regarding praying for the sick. I was stuck with the idea about the cliches that people often say to those who are suffering. I’m sure we’ve had our fair share of listening to people “biblicalizing” and “spiritualizing” difficult situations that they end up not helping the ones in pain.

The Book of Job is a classic example of well meaning friends trying to console a man in suffering. I actually like the way the three guys started it. When they saw Job’s condition, they were dumbfounded that they tore their robes and simply sat with him for seven days without saying anything. I wished they stayed that way and went home afterwards.

Unfortunately, they didn’t. They spoke, and whereas I don’t understand much of the poetic philosophy (or philosophical poetry) that they discussed, it was pretty clear that they accused Job of some hidden sins.  What started out as a friendly visit turned into a long theological debate that never helped Job in any way.

Job’s response was biting, and I can’t help but think how many people we’ve comforted thought this out but are just too polite to actually say it. “I have heard many things like this before. You are all pathetic at comforting me. Will your long-winded speeches never end?” Job 16:2-3. Some translations are more emphatic: “You are all sorry comforters, why don’t you keep quiet?”

I guess we can learn something from this story in dealing with people who are suffering..

1. Don’t generalize everything. God was angy at Job’s three friends because their understanding about suffering was very simplistic: “Good people are blessed, bad people suffer.” They did more harm than good. These people should see Moses and rework their theology.

2. You actually don’t have to come up with some wise words to say or offer some sort of explanation as to why the person is suffering. Your presence and prayer could be enough. Even silence will do sometimes. You don’t need to burden the sick with many words.

3. Be sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit. You might have been sent there to pray for instantaneous healing. Miracles do happen even today and who knows God sent you there to be an instrument of healing?

4. Be genuine with your sympathies. Genuine compassion communicates Christ’s love to the people. The physical condition of the sick person may not change but his psychological and spiritual condition could improve. In the end, you still helped the person one way or another.